Early Word

The Philadelphia Inquirer's online morning show, featuring news, views, weather, traffic, sports and humor.

Monday, August 07, 2006

And now for something completely different ... well, not THAT different ... just pick the answer that you think words best.

Watching an NFL preseason game is like ...

Enjoying some juicy prime rib with a pitcher of beer.
Having a low-salt veggie burger with no-fat cheese and near-beer.

Trading Bobby Abreu for minor-league prospects is like ...

Turning an I.O.U. into a U.O.Me.
Trading Allen Iverson for a seventh-grade traveling team.

The decision NOT to trade Iverson right now is like ...

Swerving to avoid a car wreck without getting a scratch.
Having a lemon but knowing you can still make lemonade.

The Eagles off-season pickups were like ...

Asking out Jessica Simpson but still getting a date with Ashley.
Asking out Jessica Simpson and winding up with Marge.

Without T.O., the Eagles receiving corps appears to be ...

As elusive as the ghost of the greyhouse.
As shaky as a hula doll in a hurricane.

Bringing Charlie Manuel back next year would be like ...

Finding out your favorite old car doesn't need a new engine after all.
Putting a chipmunk in charge of a nut farm.

Billy King's predicament as Sixers GM is like ...

A guy in a Chevy having four flat tires in quicksand.
The chauffeur of a Rolls worried he might have to drive a taxi.

The Flyers are as close to a championship as ...

Johnny Depp is to winning an Oscar one of these years.
Capt. Jack Sparrow is to clean and sober.

Growing up a Philadelphia sports fans is like ...

Reading a great thriller you know will have a happy ending.
Being a kid whose parents don't believe in birthday parties.

These analogy polls are like ...

A modestly refreshing snack, if not a candy bar.
A rool canal during the SATs.