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Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Talk About It, Talk About It ...
Neither Evolution nor Intelligent Design! That's right. I have an alternate theory: Mischievous Design. Yes, based on evidence I've noticed, God thinks like a bored 10-year-old boy. "Wow, cool, I'll invent dinosaurs! Roar! I'm ruling the Earth for millions of years! Ah, I'm getting tired of them! Hey, I know, I'll wipe them out with a huge asteroid! KABOOM! Cool! Aw, wouldn't it be funny to rev up those little monkeys and let them take over next?" Think I'm kidding? Look at slugs, tapeworms, maggots, mosquitos, piranha, snakes, cockroaches, jellyfish, fungus, hippos, cows and warthogs. What kind of being created these things? A sensitive master artist? Or some half-devilish entity who often thinks, "Whoa, gross! Gotta love it, dude!" A bonus of this theory is that it explains hurricanes, earthquakes, tornados and lightning without resorting to "our faith is being tested" or "punishment for our sins." Who'll sign my petition to get my theory taught in schools? (See also Inquirer story on the big court case beginning in Harrisburg over the teaching of intelligent design in schools.)
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