Thursday, August 03, 2006
Since I was on vacation last week, I've doubled the time frame.
But this could still be an uncontested election.
Mel Gibson. Need I say more?
OK, I will, but just for fun.
First of all, I'm not including Chuck Bednarik for saying he didn't like Reggie White, and then saying yesterday on WIP he didn't mean it because he got Reggie mixed up with Terrell Owens and/or Mike Mamula ("He dropped his pants!"). Two reasons. (1) He's 82. (2) Even at 82, he could probably still pound me to a pulp.
Sung Koo Kim of Oregon, after getting caught with 3,400 pairs of panties, plus dryer lint, gets at least nine years in prison.
Unidentified Serbian has stomach surgery because, as doctors discover, he'd swallowed the entire contents of a Home Depot. OK, I exaggerate. But they did find eight nails, a knife, a pen, a screw, a spoon, a clothes-peg (whatever that is) and 3,400 pairs of panties. Oops. no panties. Getting my stories mixed up. I meant, a '79 Ford Pinto. OK, no Pinto. A Chevy. Sorry, I can't help joking, because this guy's nuts, even for an America's Got Talent contestant, which he wasn't.
Florida man calls for an ambulance a day after he shoots himself in the head.
Woman on a Tokyo-bound airplane prefers getting kicked off the plane to stowing her Gucci handbag under her seat.
Donald Ray Bilby, the inmate who signed his own real name to bomb threats. Criminal mastermind!
Tim Patch, the Australian artist who paints with his, uh, you know. (Hint: He's not a cubist, he's a pubist.) But who's more idiotic? Him, or the customers who pay $300 a portrait?