Wednesday, August 09, 2006
As discussed at 5 a.m. every Wednesday morning on WIP's Big Daddy Graham show! (At least when I haven't overslept.)
How to Open a Beer Bottle With a Piece of Paper
The necessity of beer is the mother of invention.
More beer news: Lenny Bruce honored with a brewski by Shmaltz Brewing, only semi-irreverent makers of He'Brew. (Probably not what Mel Gibson was drinking.)
Jesus sighting: Now his image is seen on a shrimp! Yipes, this story, also has, like, the World's Most Complete List of Miraculous Jesus Image Appearances, including on sheet metal, a nacho pan, and a truck tailgate. All that's missing is a picture of Jesus in the Bible so we can be sure what he looked like.
Suddenly, a hunch, or divine inspiration: Could it be? Let's check. Sure enough, Jesus has his own MySpace page. No resemblance to "fish bone" Jesus.
APB! APB! : Cops quickly find stolen doughnut truck. "Still intact was the entire load of glazed, sugar and cream doughnuts, as well as apple fritters, bear claws." Wait a minute, get us some coffee, while we prepare this "evidence" for tasting, I mean testing. Also: Gotta check to see any looks like Jesus.
Newest stuporhero? Hot-off-the-presses, there's a comic book about a vigilante sex therapist called Bra-Man?! Yeah, there's a superhero you can trust, a bottle-lugging guy with a pink bra on his head. Why? Just guessing: Because his IQ is 38 Double-D. Next issue: Bra-Man winds up in a padded cell!
In related news: New Zealand OKs topless porn-star parade. Maybe Auckland should change its name to Gawkland.
Long harm of the law: Having sex with her husband could cost Minnesota massage therapist her license. Seems he was a customer, and statute puts limitations on relations with ex-clients.
Weirder than a Jesus sighting: Finally, here's an amazing picture, from a series of supposedly real photographs of what caterpillars did to a bike: